


Deserving

by Gepeng23



Series: Undeserving [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic, swtor - Fandom
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-23 02:21:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10710180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gepeng23/pseuds/Gepeng23
Summary: It has been some time after losing her. Who would have thought that fate can change by the will of the Force?





	Deserving

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation or a spin-off to "Undeserving", an alternative happy ending because the former Emperor deserves happiness!

                                                               

                                                               (Artwork by me)

 

* * *

 

 

Huh? H-how am I here again?? That’s… she’s in front of me. “Anyways! Why did you destroy this poor wall? D’you… have a problem?”

Tell me I’m not just dreaming.

She’s… real. To the touch. “Yes, I do have a problem…” I won’t waste time. I’ve been too close on losing my mind over you, too many sleepless nights and regret. Now that I’m here again…

“Take this. Drive it through my heart. Don’t miss.”

“Wh-what?! What’s the meaning of this?!”

“Do it. Avenge your family. Mother will understand.”

What are you–?! I quickly pulled my lightsaber away from the attempt at her own life instead. **Foolish girl!**

“Arcann, I…” She started crying. No, don’t do this. Don’t… cry. “I… I don’t… have anyone left anymore… w-what’s the point of living if I have to lose you too…?”

 

…

 

I… I don’t know what to say… Her face–it’s suddenly disenchanted. “Sorry. Forget I said anything.” And off she goes. That… that wasn’t the wisest action for me to take. I need to keep an eye on her all the time, in case…

But how do I protect her without being too… _weird_? Maybe I should straighten this tension between us first. “Hey!”

That sounded like Vaylin. I’m prepared. “So quick to turn to aggression, huh? Just like you, Brother.” This is unexpected. What reality am I living in right now?  

“Listen up! I don’t have much time. Hmph, where do I start… oh, I’m **much** more powerful than Father!”

Everything Vaylin told me was hard to swallow. This definitely felt unreal to me. Between my sister utilizing the Force to alter reality and time, or her being Force-Sensitive and appearing as a Force Spirit… The most _bizarre_ of them all has got to be where she spends an eternity of torture trying to save Vaylin.

I need a psychiatrist.

Mother was in tears when Vaylin said her goodbye and finally became one with the Force… The peace she longed for. “You want me to thank her too? How would you tell her about all of this? Would she even believe it?”

“She doesn’t need to know all of it. Come with me now.” Mother. No.

Her bewildered face wasn’t the strangest bit. It was that one sentence. “I’d love for you to be part of the family…” Mother, Mother, Mother, say anything but that! I’m a little disappointed by her lack of response, but I’d understand if she doesn’t want to join this accursed family.

“I’d love to have a family…”

Those words, t-they have contradicting effects on me. What could be the meaning of it? Suddenly Mother received a call for us to explain Zakuulan pantheon, but I need some private talk with her. I feel this agitation pooling inside and it’ll burst in any second.

“I apologize on behalf of Mother. What you *did* meant so much to her.”

“I’m glad I could save your sister.”

This is it. “Forgive me…”

I need to continue my words but her indifference… don’t know why it hurts me. I stood there like a fool, receiving a mere nod while she turned away. No. Not like this.

“For everything. I know it’s probably useless, but I’ll breathe easier if you let me at least… give you what you want.”

“A family? I’m already content with having the Alliance as one.”

“I owe you that much–”

“No, Arcann. You don’t owe me. I’ve let go of everything… And you **don’t** get to sacrifice anything for me! I don’t want your gratitude–just forget about all I’ve ever said!”

I didn’t mean–and here I thought Vaylin was complicated. What was I expecting anyway? Have I… made her fall out of love? Does she hate me now…? I don’t want this. I want her overly-dramatic self back. Maybe… maybe I’ve truly hurt her–my foolish action had a deeper impact than it appears.

Mother, help me.

“She needs clarity. You’ve taken a very long time to decide your mind, making her feel as if you’re just playing around.”

“But I offered–”

“Yes, out of gratitude. Anyone can do you a favor and you’d owe them too. Now, listen.” Just like us when we were little, receiving a lecture from Mother. Except it’s all too different now.

“You’re still so arrogant and stubborn enough to admit what you feel. Once you get past that stage, say it to her. Whether to end it, or the opposite.”

The mood of the week was somber, only this time she’s the one avoiding me. The sadness in her eyes was familiar–it brought back an unwanted memory of those last moments before she died. Here we go again, weakness inflicted by the fear of losing her… I should check up on her. Ilum isn’t it?

> _Meet me at these coordinates. I have something truly important to say. I’ll be waiting._
> 
> _\- A._

Instead of searching for her or giving a holocall, I took the cowardly route of sending a mail. I waited for awhile–I know she’s still mad at me. But there she is, shivering.

“They wanted me dead by trial tomorrow.”

It shook her. This might be another thing I’d regret. Should I elaborate this or call it now? “B-but… they can’t just do that! What about Senya?? Sh-she must be looking for you!”

Tears started forming around her eyes. Ah, it seems you **do** care after all. “Don’t worry about it because I lied.”

“Wh-what?” Her anger is adorable. A bad _prank_ , as she calls it.

“But there is one truth I will tell you.” She’s not as trusting anymore. Don’t you know how lucky I am that it turned out this way? To see you alive and well? I won’t hesitate anymore.

“I cannot lose you again. I went through days of agony, thinking of how it could have been. Missing your presence, your voice, your laughter… I… I want you to be with me.”

That feels like a boulder off my chest. I know, I’m also stunned like you from hearing my own words. But why the silence? The sadness in her grows…

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Is it because you don’t love me anymore? “Would you please tell me why? I… understand if you hate me…”

“I too have my truth to tell. Bear with me, it’s a speech.” I’m all ears.

“I’ve been thinking. I was being selfish. The longing for you was killing me, so I let it out to make myself feel better. Everything was sunshine from there, good enough for me to forget ‘bout many things. You should know that I’ve forgiven you long before you met me. So it’s not about that. It’s about me.”

It can’t be that easy for you to forgive me, what I’ve done–

“I’m _sick_ , Arcann. Sometimes I can’t even function. Sometimes I lose the reason to continue on. Why would I trouble you further with taking care of me? I’m nobody. It’s so selfish for me to intrude your life when we don’t even know each other.”

She’s bouncing back to the first pattern. I think I know–or at least have a clearer understanding of her condition now. I should proceed carefully; I don’t want to leave without her because I know she loves me.

“Taking care of yourself is not selfish. You deserve love. I’m starting to think I do too, ever since you came into my life. I want to care for you, want you to feel loved and sheltered. I want your presence whether depressed, insecure or joyful. I think we know enough of each other to take this further.”

I took her hands–they’re like ice! Poor thing. I wrapped my arms around her, our faces are close enough to feel each other’s breathing. Her imperfections are so beautiful. “Uhm… w-would you s-still s-s-say that y-years after this?”

“In another millenia, yes. I hope we live that long.” Ah, there it is, a chuckle. I’m starting to feel a little agitated by this. “Arcann…”

“Yes, my love?” She gasped, her body becoming limp and submitting. “I love it when you call me that.” And I love this new feeling, it’s overwhelming in a good way. You are the one for me after all. Our lips locked, intensity increasing by each second.

“Because I love you, deeply, extremely so.”

Let’s cancel our trip back to Odessen and warm ourselves up, shall we?

 

* * *

 

                                                                


End file.
